Eric

The Birdman
Eric. Half-bird, half-jew, half-codfish (yes math R gud). A long, yet not very strong man who possesses bird-transformation as well as jew-transformation abilities. Eric loves money, Halo, and playing SD games with Alfo, Rob, and Andrea, but only HD games when it's Civ 5 or DotA 2.

Money
Eric loves it and will call you out if you don't. He parks in shawarma in order to maintian steady cash flow and keep his monetary assets in line.

Above Eric in line-of-command is his mother, who loves money more than him, and maintains control over all assets...

...including his diiiiiiiiiick.

Fun Facts

 * Eric skeets in sinks and once shot a 3-pointer across the bathroom
 * Eric has a brother, named Jesse, who is a "short, sexy, Italian Beast"
 * If you are not an engineer, you are scum in Eric's eyes and will probably only ever work at McDonald's